Let’s face it. Deep down you love your spouse. Even on their worst days, you care about them deeply. But if we’re being totally honest with ourselves… romance has a way of… coming and going. While we would do nearly anything for our significant others, sometimes we lose the “loving feeling” so to speak. So what do we do when the feelings aren’t there? When marriage feels more like work than romance? How do you rekindle your love? Continue Reading
Marriages are never easy. As compatible as you think you are with someone, at some point you will disagree. It’s at this point that most of us seek out a way to better our marriage. We try to fight less, have “date” nights, read marriage books, and look for advice from those who have been married longer than us. But when push comes to shove, many issues within our marriage could be solved if we would simply choose to renew our thinking. Continue Reading
And they lived happily ever after… From an early age, these are often the words our children first learn about marriage. After all, nearly every princess fairy tale ends in a wedding gown. Most don’t dive into the inner workings of a marriage. We never see Cinderella and Prince Charming in the middle of a heated argument. We only see the dress, the fairy tale, and the happy ending. This is why it is so important for your children to witness your marriage… They need to see what happily ever after actually looks like in the real world. Continue Reading
Marriage can be one of the most rewarding relationships in our lives, but it can also be one of the most difficult. When you’re young and in love, you think to yourself, “This is it. I can’t imagine anything better. I couldn’t be happier!” But as the years pass, you begin to realize that there’s a reason most fairy tales end with the wedding… (and they lived happily ever after right?) After the wedding, life goes back to normal. Careers, children, and everyday chores can get the best of us if we let them. And when there’s not enough time in the day to finish your mile long to-do list, it’s easy for your marriage to take a back seat. Continue Reading
We’ve all heard the statistics. Over fifty percent of marriages fall apart, and that number increases for subsequent marriages. We cite a plethora of reasons for our divorces. We fall out of love. We desire to be with some more “compatible” or who better meets our needs. There’s too much fighting. We simply aren’t happy. We deserve better. They are no longer the person I married. With every reason, we feel justified in walking away. It simply isn’t working anymore… right? Continue Reading
Proverbs 31 is often seen as a standard of living for the Christian wife. If I’m completely honest, I must admit that I find the list of attributes to be quite daunting. It is certainly something that many Christian women strive for in their homes, but no woman can be the “proverbs 31 woman” every moment of every day. Believe me. I’ve tried, and it’s hard.
Even then, I love this chapter of God’s Word. It gives me something to work towards as a wife and mother. But I have to ask myself one question: is there such as thing as the proverbs 31 man?
When God made Adam and placed him in the Garden of Eden, He knew that Adam would need a helper. Not a servant, but a helper. His original design for marriage was that Adam and Eve would work together. Their strengths would complement one another. They would build each other up and bring out God’s best in one another. They would be equals.
But when sin came into the world, everything changed. The battle of the sexes had begun.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl who dreamed of becoming a princess. She had a good heart and was kind to all. As fate would have it, she unexpectedly discovered a handsome prince. Upon meeting, they fell in love and lived happily ever after. The end.
I am the mother of two beautiful little girls. Needless to say, our home is filled with all things princess. They know these stories forwards and backwards. On the surface, the fairy tales seem pretty innocent. They can even be empowering. They teach young girls that kindness and love pay off in the end, that true beauty comes from within, and that every girl can indeed become a princess. These are all good things – right?
We live in a culture that is very contract-minded. We make promises to one another, often in writing, but if one person doesn’t hold up their end of the deal, the contract is canceled. In other words, the contract can be broken if one party decides not to keep their word. We do this to protect ourselves. We don’t want to have to hold up our end of the deal if the other party is unwilling to hold up theirs.
A covenant, however, is a much deeper agreement – one that is binding. Covenants aren’t common in our culture today. We like to know that we can back out of an agreement if we’re not getting what we need or want out of it. In a marriage situation, we like to know that if our needs aren’t being met, we can choose to walk away and find someone else to meet them. Continue Reading
In today’s modern culture, submission in marriage is fairly controversial. We’ve been taught for generations that man is the “head of the household” and women are called to “submit to him in all things.” Many churches today teach that men and women are equal in God’s eyes, but they each have different roles to play. And in the end, the husband has the final say.
But I can’t stop thinking about this term “submission.” Because in my mind (and I know I’m not alone in feeling this way), submission by the world’s standard means blind obedience. It requires me to put myself under the authority of my husband in a way that dismisses my thoughts and feelings. I can’t help but envision the way a dog submits to his master. He obeys, honors, and respects the wishes of his owner. It’s this mentality that makes it so difficult for many wives to accept that this is God’s perfect will for marriage. Is this really what Paul had in mind when he called wives to submit to their husbands?
My husband and I took a cruise for our honeymoon. During one of the shows, they brought a couple up on stage who had been married over 50 years. And when asked how they did it, the husband replied, “Two words… I’m sorry!” Then the wife replied, “I forgive you!” We all had a good laugh at the time, but their advice proved to be incredibly wise. Marital conflict is inevitable, but a lot of it could be avoided if we would simply learn to listen, communicate effectively, and admit when we are wrong. Continue Reading
The Bible tells us to fix our thoughts on “what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.” (Philippians 4:8) This outlook on life affects every aspect of our lives – including our marriage. The enemy likes to use our negative attitudes and thoughts to suck the joy out of marriages. But the good news is that we don’t have to let him. Continue Reading
As crazy as it sounds, divorce is almost seen as a rite of passage in today’s culture. It’s certainly seen as a viable option when our marriages hit rough times. The problem with this thinking is that ALL marriages hit rough times. So based on our culture’s standard, all marriages have times where divorce could be on the table as an option. Continue Reading
We all know the statistics. Marriage is hard. But the truth about marriage is that with the right perspective (and help from the Holy Spirit), it can be one of the greatest blessings of our lives. One of the first things we have to remember about marriage is that it was originally God’s idea. (Genesis 2:18, 21-22) Not only that, but He outlines the true purpose of marriage in His Word. Continue Reading